


Okay

by Thefaultsinourlife



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Harry!depression, Multi, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, the faults in our stars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-24 17:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thefaultsinourlife/pseuds/Thefaultsinourlife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry styles a 17 year old suicidal teenager, with a depression gets sent to a support group for other kids with depression or other things and there he meets a guy named Louis tomlinson 19 years old that refuses to talk about his own past but is determined to make Harry happy again.</p>
<p>It's strongly inspired by John green's ''The faults in our stars.'' without the cancer, if you haven't read his book I suggest you do!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Support

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cindy](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cindy).



Last winter, my mom decided I was depressed presumable because I stayed in all day, I refused to talk with my friends, I read all day oh and I had tried to commit suicide.  
I was depressed because I was suicidal or was I suicidal because I was depressed? These question had me wide at awake at midnight wondering.

‘’ You know Harold, you should go out some more.’’ My mom’s voice boomed through the room as I was curled up on the couch with a cup of tea.  
‘’Zayn called yesterday and Niall came to visit you some days ago, how many times are you going to push them away?’’ She asked me leaning up against the frame.

Zayn and Niall were my bestmates, reckon I said were because I don’t want them to be my best friends anymore.  
I’m a wreck, I can tick off any second and I’d rather push them away before I’ll hurt them more.

Liam was an exchange student in the US, and frankly he didn’t know what was going on in ol’ England and he didn’t need to know.  
My mom was speaking to me, I couldn’t hear the words because my brain had shut her out, ‘’you are going to the support group for suicidal teenagers, and teenagers with problems like you.’’ 

‘’Wait what?’’ I stuttered, I was not going to any support group with a bunch of stranger opening their hearts to me.  
Thinking I’d care, and expect me to tell me my interesting story acting like they cared when I frankly didn’t care either.

‘’Please?’’ My mom pleaded, her face was clearly pained and I knew she haven’t been functioning properly since her only son decided that he actually hates everything so much that he’d prefer be dead to walk on this god forsaken place called earth.

I could possible hurt her more could I? Why couldn’t I just let her do what mom’s did best, care too much.  
 _''Fine.''_

I stood up and left her in the living trying to get ready for this support group, I knew how it would go. You introduce yourself with Name, age and how you are feeling where I would introduce me as Harry, 17 and I hated everything about this shitty life, after that we all will open up.

That’s how it would go down, which is why I stayed away from these groups because if these teenagers was so messed that they had no idea what to do with their own life how come they would know what to do with mine?

How can we help others when we can’t even help ourselves?  
I wore my black jeans as normally and changed my shirt.

‘’Are you ready to go sweetheart?’’ my mom yelled from downstairs as I dragged myself down there.

On the way I bumped into my lovely sister that sent me a smile as I couldn’t return even if I had tried.  
I don’t do fake smiles anymore, well I actually just don’t bother.

‘’Harry, I hope you’ll make some new friends.’’ She happily chimed as she was getting her car keys to drive me to that stupid meeting.  
I jumped in my converse and sighed, they looked quiet worn out by now but so did I.

The car ride over there was silent, mostly. I listened to my music while my mom talked to me even though she knew I wasn’t listening, but she was pretending I did.  
She was pretending I was still the same as I was when I was a kid.

‘’Have fun!’’ she suddenly spoke up as I realized we were at the local church, and that was my cue to leave so I just left.

I followed the other godforsaken kids down to the room at the bottom of the church, it was decorated with some drinks and cookies.

Some chairs was placed in a circle in the center, I grabbed a cup and poured some water up in it as I turned my head to see a boy watching me.

He had blue eyes and his hair was featherlike, he didn’t stop looking at me which made me extremely self-conscious as I sat down three seats away from him.  
Even then when I turned my face I saw him glancing up at me and it was starting to get annoying.  
I stared back at him until he finally chuckled sweetly looking away.

‘’Everyone, ‘’ some woman in her forties began as everyone was seated, ‘’I’m delighted that you all decided to come.’’  
So she’s delighted that there’s 10 people in here that might be suicidal? 

‘’I, myself overcome my depression that I won over by opening my heart to Christ.’’   
And that’s how she began telling a story about her 16 year old teenage daughter had committed suicide and she had fell into a deep horrible depression since no one was there for her so now she would be there for the kids that had no one.

I had to restrain myself not to ask her where she was when her own daughter needed her?  
I heard the blue eyed snicker while Annie talked on about her life and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking the same as I?  
After she was done and had geared up a bit it was our turn to introduce ourselves.

‘’My name is Perrie, I’m 16 and I suffer from bulimia. ‘’ everyone said a hi Perrie with such a forced tone.  
I didn’t really pay attention, some with broken homes and depression like I but I just let my thoughts drift. 

I looked to the boy I was sitting beside as he began speaking, ‘’I’m nick, I’m 18 and I’m gay.’’ And that was that.  
I couldn’t help but wonder why was he here? Because he was gay? Or did his parents send him to cure him?

Was he depressed because he didn’t like girls? Did he get bullied?  
I had too many questions and I thought about stuff too much as I stood up.

‘’I’m harry, I’m 17 and I couldn’t care less about being here.’’ And then I sat down not wanting to look at anyone, nick clapped my shoulder and I nodded at the stranger that tried to comfort me.

‘’I’m Louis,’’ a happy voice chimed which broke me off my trance as I turned to look at the boy who had stared at me earlier.  
‘’I’m 19, and I’m here to spread happy thoughts.’’ He laughed and I couldn’t help but feel my lips crook up in an awkward smile.  
The way he was and spoke was something for himself.

The meeting had ended quietly as I gathered my stuff getting ready to leave.  
I kept my head down and suddenly I bumped into someone, ‘’ oops.’’ I looked up seeing Louis.  
‘’Hi.’’ He grinned.

‘’okay.’’ I replied after some time, how could he be so happy?  
‘’I’m Louis and you are Harry, ‘’ he began as I wondered who he were ‘’and we are here meaning so little to the universe but still we do matter.’’  
I rose my brow a little confused by his speech. 

‘’ I don’t need to listen to all that mumbo shit, I heard quiet enough of it already.’’ I rolled my eyes.  
He placed his finger on his face pretending to be thinking hard, ‘’hmmm how or what else can I say to amuse this gentleman?’’  
‘’you could scoot to the side, so I could leave.’’ 

‘’Ouch, harry my poor little heart.’’ He took his hands to his heart pretending to sob as I shifted uncomfortable on my leg.  
‘’It is an honor to get my heart broken by such a handsome young lad as yourself.’’ He winked and I couldn’t help but smile.

There were something about his personality and he looked extremely gorgeous.  
But that scared me because a complete stranger had made me smile and I don’t smile.

‘’Ohh dimples, ‘’ Louis studied my face poking one of them.  
‘’Have you seen love actually?’’ He asked finally.  
‘’No.’’ 

‘’I have it at home, come watch it with me?’’ He suggested as I looked confused again.  
‘’You’re just a stranger,’’ I corrected myself ‘’we are just strangers.’’ 

He looked horrified by my statement and shook his head.  
‘’No, I’m Louis and you are Harry.’’

I thought a little about it and then nodded.  
‘’Okay.’’  
‘’Okay.’’ He smiled his eyes shining just for me.


	2. Love actually

Louis lived in a small apartment not far away from the church, it had one kitchen, one bathroom, one living room and a small bedroom.  
But it was cozy.

I sat down on his couch fiddling with my hands as Louis was all over the place.

‘’You want a cup of tea?’’ He shouted from the kitchen, ‘’ I don’t think tea.’’ Anymore. I thought to myself as I heard him chuckle.  
Soon he came in with two cups of tea.

‘’Here.’’ He handed it to me without saying anything else as he started to get the movie ready.  
‘’I don’t –‘’ I started to protest as he interrupted me.

‘’trust me my tea is the best.’’   
I haven’t drank tea for ages, not since I started to get depressed and slightly suicidal. 

But somehow for a weird reason I had this feeling that I should trust Louis, this stranger with everything. I couldn’t even speak with my own mom or closest friends but here I was with a guy that had made me say more than anyone else have made me for the last years.

‘’okay.’’ I replied simply, taking the scent of the tea in before carefully taking a sip.  
It tasted amazing, it was Yorkshire tea and the flavor was overwhelming.

‘’Okay?’’ He asked smiling before sitting down besides me.  
‘’Okay.’’ I nodded watching him enjoy his tea.  
‘’Okay.’’ I replied.

Love actually, was more of a romantic comedy and I actually enjoyed myself for once as I kept sneaking glances at him only to see he was already looking at me.  
I didn’t even protest when Louis placed his head on my shoulder, even though I would leave if people tried to touch me.

I just didn’t understand what was wrong with him? Why was he in the support group?  
When the movie was finished Louis and I was sitting together on the couch staring at the blank screen.

‘’Did you like the movie?’’ he finally asked after some minutes of silent.  
‘’s’okay.’’ I shrugged as Louis sat up straight.

‘’liar, I heard you chuckle.’’ Louis teased and I couldn’t help but smile a little.  
‘’What’s your story?’’ I finally asked Louis.

‘’Not now.’’ He said with a frown for the first time this night.  
‘’Okay.’’ I nodded.

‘’Okay.’’ He replied back, it was like okay had become our thing. Like it was our way of accepting whatever the other said completely, trusting the other enough and not pushing their limit.

I was over thinking everything again wasn’t I? over analyzing a little word, but that was what made me cope.

‘’ I should go home.’’ I finally said standing up as I swept my hair to the side.  
‘’Alright, Justin Bieber.’’ He pouted making fun of my hair flip.

‘’ He isn’t blessed with these curls.’’ I winked and Louis chuckled.  
I like the sound of Louis chuckle.  
I want to hear that some more and more often.

‘’ Is that the perks of being a wallflower?’’ I asked seeing a book on the shelf, I loved to read but had never gone around to read that one yet.

‘’Yes it is, my young friend.’’ He said quick to take it in his hands, ‘’you should read it. You will cry!’’ he promised with a smirk.  
He took his pen and wrote something on the last page of the book before handing it to me.

‘’Read it, Harold.’’ He nodded seriously like we were exchanging something important.

‘’ and then call me.’’ He smiled guiding me out of the door, ‘’ you wrote your number on the last page didn’t you?’’ I rolled my eyes, ‘’ that’s so cliche.’’   
‘’Cheeky bastard.’’ Louis chuckled.

Should I hug him goodbye?  
Should I do anything now?

‘’Well okay.’’ I nodded.  
‘’Okay.’’ He smiled.

I ran down the stairs quickly, not turning my head and feeling my heart race as I left the feather haired boy behind.  
I phoned my mom and told her to pick me up which she did after only 10 minutes of me awkwardly standing outside clutching the book to me.

‘’Did you have fun?’’ She asked as we pulled away from the apartment complex, ‘’fun.’’ I rolled my eyes, she was taking things too far and I had no patient for that yet.  
She ignored my attitude and continued.

‘’I told you, you’d have fun and meet new friends didn’t I?’’   
‘’What was his name again, love?’’ She asked since I didn’t reply.

‘’Louis. Louis Tomlinson.’’   
Louis Tomlinson, the only human being that could have formed a smile on my face, Louis with the blue eyes and contagious smile.  
Louis that was a stranger, and I completely was despising strangers and people in general.  
But I couldn’t despite this one boy.  
Why couldn’t I despite this one stranger, why was it that way?  
And who was he?

I promised myself I would get started on the book as soon as I got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave feedback? :)


	3. Stars

I had spent one week on the book, reading it twice actually.  
I haven’t gone out a single time not even to the support group, but my mom haven’t whined about it yet so it was all good.

The perks of being a wallflower made me cry and laugh in the middle of the nights, and it had taken some of my thoughts away and made me completely focused on finishing it.  
Twice.

I haven’t talked to Louis either but I promised him I would call him as soon as I had finished the book so now as I was staring at the last page with his number scribbled on I was doubting what to do.

I decided to text him instead.

Harry: I finished your book.

 

Louis replied exactly two minutes and 30 seconds later.

Louis: You promised you would call.

So that’s what I did.  
I called him, and soon I heard his voice chuckling in the other end. 

‘’Harold styles.’’ I could hear him grinning and I couldn’t help but smile as I replied.  
‘’Hi, I finished the book.’’ I didn’t know what else to tell him, ‘’did you like it?’’ I nodded but then I remembered he couldn’t see me, and instead I mumbled a yes.  
‘’Did you cry?’’ he asked.

I kept silent.  
‘’Oh Harold.’’ He chuckled as I sighed.

‘’They were being so unfair to him, poor guy.’’ I remembered the scenes in the book where I had really cried and had to silent my cries with my pillows.  
‘’Where are you?’’ He asked after a few minutes of silence.

‘’Home.’’  
‘’Meet me at the park in 10 minutes.’’  
I looked at the clock it was almost midnight, so I wouldn’t be able to leave.

‘’Louis, have you seen the time.’’ My brow rose a little puzzled as he laughed.  
‘’I’ll see you there okay?’’ He simply replied.

‘’Okay.’’ I nodded and the line went dead.  
As I gazed out of the window, I wondered why I had blindly said yes to this madness.

Everyone in the house was asleep so I had to be quiet and quick as I tip toed down the stairs when suddenly I bumped into Gemma again.  
‘’What are you doing?’’ She asked looking puzzled.  
‘’What are you doing?’’ I replied trying to dodge the question.

‘’Night snack,’’ she shrugged showing me the bowl of icecream in her hand ‘’what about you?’’  
‘’I’m going out.’’ I exclaimed.

‘’Mom will kill you.’’ She kept on blocking my way out and I was getting annoyed. I had 5 minutes to get over to the park and I didn’t want to be late.  
‘’I need to see Louis.’’ I pleaded as her eyes soften.

‘’I didn’t see nor hear anything.’’ She winked and walked past me up to her room again.

I didn’t appreciate gemma enough, I had to thank her properly someday I thought as I snuck out of the house.

The cold night air of England hit me and I hugged myself before I started running towards the park.  
By the time I was at the park, I was completely out of breath and I couldn’t see Louis anywhere.

‘’The universe amazes me.’’ Louis voice suddenly boomed through the darkness as he became visible.   
He was laying on the grass looking at the stars.

‘’ Come here Haz.’’ He smiled, and patted the ground beside him.  
I laid down beside him on the cold ground looking up at the stars, ‘’Do you believe in fate?’’ Louis asked me without taking his eyes off the stars that shone up on the night sky.  
Did I believe in fate? 

I wasn’t quite sure, I felt like everything happened for a reason and karma was the reason, but instead of saying that I replied ‘’I think it was fate that I met you.’’   
Louis didn’t reply instead he pointed at a huge star shinning brighter than the others and smiled.  
‘’This is from now on, our star’’ He paused waiting for a reaction from me and when he didn’t get it he continued ‘’whenever you feel sad or alone then look up at the sky and no I’m here.’’

I smiled and our hands found each other in the darkness.  
After 30 minutes of me and him lying there in complete silent he broke it.

‘’Why haven’t you been coming to the support group?’’   
‘’Been reading.’’ I shrug, turning my head to face him.

‘’Will you come tomorrow night?’’ he asked looking hopefully.  
‘’Good, I’ll introduce you to my pals.’’ He grinned.

Of course Louis had tons of friends, he was so lovable.  
Speaking of friends Niall had tried to contact me this week also, but I’ve been too busy with my book to be bothered by anyone.

‘’Okay.’’ I nodded returning my attention to the night sky.  
‘’Okay.’’ He replied, spending the rest of the time in complete bliss and silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments, makes me super happy!


	4. Promise

‘’Have a nice day!’’ My mom waved before driving away leaving me in front of that godforsaken church again.  
That’s a bit ironic.  
Everyone was already there by the time I got down to them, chatting.

‘’How nice to see you join us today, Harry!’’ Annie smiled widely gesturing to me take a seat.  
‘’Saved you one, pal.’’ Louis grinned as I casually walked over to him sitting down.

As soon as I was seated Annie started babbling on about how god had saved her again, and how she needed us to accept Christ so we would get in heaven.  
I stopped listening half way through, trying to not look at Louis that was sitting beside me crossing his legs.

‘’I hope you all learned something from today!’’ Annie spoke up suddenly as people began to rose, wait did one hour already pas?   
That was fast.  
Louis grabbed my arm and pulled me outside,

‘’Like I told you I’d let you meet my friends!’’ He shouted and waved after some people.  
‘’This is Perrie and Nick.’’ 

‘’Heyo.’’ Perrie smiled reached after me fishing after a hug.  
She was the girl with bulimia? If I remember correctly, would it be rude to ask?  
Properly.

‘’I’m Perrie, but you can just call me Pez.’’   
I nodded at her when the Nick winked, ‘’we already met, I believe.’’ He chuckled as Louis frowned a little.  
‘’Yeah.’’ I replied not sure what to say next.

 

‘’Just to be clear, Harold is mine.’’ Louis warned laughing a little as he wrapped his arm around my waist and I felt my cheeks burn.  
Was I seriously blushing?

‘’I have to go, nice to meet you Harry.’’ Nick winked as he ran after a bus in the distance.  
‘’Wow.’’ I looked after him.

‘’Well nick is really busy, he is hosting his own radio show. No one really knows about it, but its cool.’’ Perrie replied.  
‘’How about we go to my place?’’ Perrie suggested after a moment of silence, but Louis nodded and we headed to hers.

When we got there, I crashed on her bed while she sat on the computer looking through some pictures.  
Louis sat down beside me and whispered, ‘’ she’s pro ana, she’s trying to overcome it but it’s hard with those groups.’’ He shrugged, ‘’it become something she just do everything she gets home.’’

Why would she hurt herself like that?  
Perrie sat some music on but didn’t really mind us.

‘’You know,’’ Louis began again, his voice soft and low so only I could hear ‘’my ex girlfriend died last year.’’   
Wait Louis had a ex girlfriend? He was straight? I just thought he was maybe interested in me.  
He probably liked both genders, or maybe he just found out?

Stop it Harold, you are over thinking everything again.

I looked up at Louis, and his usual self was changed into a pained expression.  
‘’Hannah, she had a depression.’’ He explained.  
‘’And she was suicidal.’’   
So she was basically me? I snorted by my own comment but looked at him and kept silent.

‘’We met in the support group, and became friends rather quickly.’’   
How long had he been in that group? What was his story exactly? I was starting to get curious.

‘’I miss her, I do. I blame myself partly for not being able to pull her out of the darkness but I wont let that happen again.’’  
He finally met my eyes and smiled sadly.

He reached for my hand but I pulled away.  
That was the moment I realized I could never be with him as long as I was so unstable, I would just end up hurting her like Hannah had in the end.  
And I don’t want to hurt him.

We could be friends, but nothing more and nothing less, I wouldn’t allow and I couldn’t take that risk.  
I think love is when you value the others happiness more than your own.  
I walked up to Perrie looking over her shoulder, leaving Louis behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos makes me happy!


	5. Starbucks

‘’Gemma I don’t want to go on a date with one of your friends.’’ I roll my eyes, plugging my head phones back in.

Gemma, my lovely older sister wanted me to on a date with one of her girlfriends, which I had no interest in because love was trouble and because my whole love life was gone since I met Louis.

But I couldn’t have Louis, so I’d rather drown myself in books and depression music like always.  
‘’You’ll love her though,’’ gemma begins as she rips my ear plugs out and stare at me.

‘’no.’’  
‘’She’s pretty.’’   
‘’no.’’ 

‘’She’s lovely and funny!’’ She continues and I let my thoughts drift again, if I’m lucky I go on the date and forget Louis,  
If I’m not I’ll be miserable with a girl while I hopelessly dream about this boy with the blue eyes.

‘’If you don’t then I’ll mom about your little night adventure.’’ She smirks placing her hand on her hip.  
‘’I’m sorry Hazza, but I promised her. She fancies you so much, give her a chance?’’   
I roll my eyes at her, ‘’you’re the worst.’’ 

‘’Just be ready in 10 minutes, so you can pick her up.’’  
Already? Jesus.  
I stomp up the stairs and grab my phone not bothering to get ready, I saw I had gotten a text message from Louis and my heart skips a beat.

From: Louis.  
I miss you, and I’m thinking about you. (:   
I reply swiftly,  
From: Harry.  
I miss you too lou, never leave my mind.   
From: Louis.  
I’ll call you today, yeah?  
From: Harry.  
Okay.  
From: Louis  
Okay.

By the time Louis and I finished texting my sister is calling me down, she would drive me over to her friend’s Marissa’s place and let me take her to the mall or something like that.

 

I ignored gemma on the whole car drive as I jump out and she gives me a thumbs up before leaving the drive way.  
I take a deep breath and knock on the twice and soon Marissa opens.

She have brownish wavy hair with bangs, she was smaller than me even with her heels on.  
She looked cute, but she was nothing compared to Louis.

‘’I’m Harry.’’ I gesture to the sidewalk as we start walking.  
‘’I’m marissa.’’ She blushes from some unknown reason as we walk in silence, ‘’you look lovely today.’’I compliment her as we reach the mall.  
‘’Thank you.’’ She giggles and grabs my arm.

I want to push her away but I don’t want to hurt her feelings either.  
I feel horrible.

‘’Oh Harry, I need to look at new underwear.’’ She winks and drags me into a shop as I uncomfortable shift.  
I notice some boy laughing and the laughter sounded awfully familiar. 

Marissa was trying to show me some bra but I just nodded as the boy turned around and I saw it was Louis.  
I was about to ditch Marissa and go up to him when I see he is with some girl, she had a starbucks in her right hand while she was touching Louis arm with her left.  
Just as they kiss Louis eyes meet mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so short, I've been extremely busy but I wanted to make a quick update. Comments will be appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> It's strongly inspired by John green's ''The faults in our stars.'' without the cancer, if you haven't read his book I suggest you do!   
> Leave feedback, that is most appreciated.


End file.
